Sunday, March 15, 2015

13 Common Dancer Problems

You know those things that dancers do, that are a little strange from the point of view of strangers, even though they probably know you're a dancer because it's only a thing dancers do? Well I'm going to list them here, and don't even pretend like you don't do them.

• Turns and leaps in grocery stores
So tempting when there is just empty space, without having to cut corners or jump in place with the usual walls at the studio. You feel free and alive... until a shopper walks into the aisle with a funny look, of course. "Is it also possible to buy some of your floor, it's perfect for turning?!"

•Bobby pins just about anywhere
The car, just about every bag, bed, sibling's jean pockets, lunch boxes, shoes, the driveway, interweaved into the carpet... you name it.  But then when you are in the process of doing your bun, they are nowhere to be found. How does that even happen? There must be a secret hiding place for bobby pins, and one day I'm going to crash that party... only to realize that the party is the bottom of my dance bag and in the corners of the dance studio from flying out during fouettes.
Desirable. Credits to:

•"Now reverse it..."
As if my legs aren't tired enough. And put right on the spot to figure out which way to tondué now, or pirouette and land in what corner in time to actually do it.

•Pedicures are still a thing?
It's been awhile, I must say. The massaging, warm water, superior smells, and myriad of colors is nice, but I don't always enjoy the strange faces of the nail artist after telling them "Don't touch my calluses." Especially you are paying money for something that will soon be scrunched up in a pointe shoe. Not worth it.

•You don't have hairspray?
Say whattt? To all my non-dancer friends who I guess can mange their fly-aways without this magical potion.

•Dancewear shopping.
It not doubtful that I spend more time shopping online for dance clothes than real clothes (and that's saying a lot, considering my fondness for shopping). I've even gotten to the tenth page on google looking for new stores... I must've been desperate.

•*Crack* *Pop* *Crack*
I'm surprised I haven't set off an earthquake from the amount of popping my bones produce in plies. I often have to tell my friends to wait a sec for me to pop my hip.

•Imaging a dance in your head when a song comes on
My words: "This would be a great song for a contemporary dance" "I've done a combo to this... kick, turn, slide, step, step, hold 7 and 8.

•"Check your attitude" isn't just a line you hear from your parents
You just can't ever get it spot on... in both places.

When no one sees your perfect turn
DID ANYONE JUST SEE THAT?! Of course not. Now, when I'm going to go across the floor and everyone is watching, I will barely make that double with a sloppy landing. So awesome.

•Summer is spent more inside than outside for at least a month
Ballet + indoors = summer intensive = no tan.

•Beauty IS pain (especially new pointe shoes)
Getting new pointe shoes never gets old, they are just as pretty every time, but somehow manage to morph into bricks for the first class. Hello, five new blisters.
Oh so pretty. Oh so painful. Oh so expensive. Credits to:

There goes my wallet
$80 spent on soon-to-be dead shoes, and to be put in the pile with the dozens of others.

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